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UFC 96 Weigh-Ins on DirecTV

The great Stevie J sent us the UFC 96 weigh-in report.

You can read his write-up at AngryMarks.com as well.

Written by Stevie J.

Welcome to Columbus, Ohio and the UFC 96 weigh-ins! We kick things off with one last commercial for Rampage v. Jardine and Carwin v. Gonzaga this Saturday night. Mike Goldberg welcomes everybody to the Nationwide Arena but if history has taught me anything it’s that as often as not these things are not where Goldberg SAYS they air – the weigh-ins seem to take place somewhere other than the actual fight venue in a lot of cases. Rogan is “fucking” excited as the weigh-ins get underway.

* Shane Nelson v. Aaron Riley

Nelson is first up to the scale with a 12-3 fight record. Nelson weighs in at 155 even. Riley’s on his way up now. Riley weighs in at 155 too. Quick handshake and posedown between the two men as Rogan reminds us this is the first fight of the night.

* Brandon Vera v. Mike Patt

Light heavyweight bout! Patt is 15-3 overall and first up to the scale. He’s got bitch tits and looks like an old man to be honest – an old man that works out, but an old man nonetheless. Patt makes 204 and 1/2 pounds. Here comes Brandon ‘The Truth’ Vera. Vera looks tan and shredded, weighing in at 205 even. You know Vera hasn’t been impressive of late but Patt may just be the patsy he needs.

* Tim Boetsch v. Jason Brilz

Brilz is first to the scale with a record of 16-1-1. Brilz is 204. Boetsch steps up to the scale looking fat but yet muscular – I’m not sure how he pulled that off. He hits 205 even and the two fighters pose for photos.

* Kendall Grove v. Jason Day

‘Dooms’ Day is first to the scale, with a fight record of 17-6. This guy doesn’t appear to have a single ounce of body fat anywhere. He comes in at 184 and 1/2 pounds. The 11-5 Grove makes his way up next. If you thought Day was skinny, Grove is RIDICULOUSLY skinny – he’s a well-built toothpick. Grove makes 185 on the mark. Grove tries to sway in front of Day and he’s having none of it – mean-mugging him the whole time.

* Tamdan McCrory v. Ryan Madigan

Madigan is up first. It’s taking him a long time to get out of his tracksuit. He weighs in at 169. ‘Barn Cat’ is on his way up now. He’s wearing his glasses as he steps on the scale! You have to love this dude. McCrory is 170 even. The two pose and shake hands.

* Gray Maynard v. Jim Miller (First TV Bout)

Miller is taking off everything but his trunks – jeans, socks, shirt, et cetera. Miller weighs in at 154 and 1/2 in front of what appears to be a packed house. ‘The Bully’ makes his way up next with a record of 7-0 and 1 NC. A very gaunt Maynard is 155. He’s either got a cut on his left arm or a brand new tattoo. The two men exchange a friendly handshake and chestbump after the photos.

* Matt Hamill v. Mark Munoz (Second TV Bout)

This is the first fight the crowd seems to have popped for. Munoz weighs in first. Munoz is 204 and 1/2. Everybody so far has made weight or come in under. Hamill gets a very nice reaction when introduced by Joe Rogan, and he’s pumping his fist all the way up to the stage. Hamill strips down and hopes on the scale. He smiles and waves to the crowd and the official announces him as 205. Nice pop as he poses for photos.

* Pete Sell v. Matt Brown (Third TV Bout)

Welterweight action, starting with the 11-7 ‘Immortal’ Matt Brown. The hairy Brown comes in at 170 and 1/2. He’s fine due to the one pound allowance. Pete ‘Drago’ Sell is up next. Sell has a lot of clothes to strip off too – it looks like he might have done one last run through the sauna before stepping up to the scale. Sell comes in at 170 even and seems VERY enthusiastic about it. The two tense up for a photo and shake hands.

* Gabriel Gonzaga v. Shane Carwin (Co-Main Event)

Carwin is a perfect 10-0 in his professional career. I think Carwin is what Tim Sylvia would be and/or look like if Sylvia didn’t suck. Carwin weighs in at 259. THIS DUDE IS BIG. His opponent is no small man either! Here comes the 10-3 Gonzaga. ‘Napao’ looks serious as cancer walking up the stairs before stripping off his pants, socks and shirt. Gonzaga weighs in at 257 and 1/2. THESE BIG BOYS WILL GET IT ON SATURDAY NIGHT! The two mean mug for the photo and exchange no pleasantries afterwards.

Rogan throws us to a hype video for the night’s final fight. Rampage promises anybody who wants to step in his way will get “a foot broke off in they ass.” Jardine says he wants to have a war that people will enjoy and say was incredible. Rampage says he doesn’t care what Jardine wants to do, “it don’t matter” and that Jardine has a suspect chin. Jardine promises he has a huge heart, but Rampage says he’s never quit in a fight. Rampage: “My job is to knock him out as fast I can. I would hate to be Keith.”

* Keith ‘The Dean of Mean’ Jardine v. Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson

Jardine is first to the scale. The goatee warrior weighs in for the packed house at 204 pounds. HUGE ERUPTION for Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson as he makes his way up to the scale. ‘God’s Warrior’ steps on the scale in some LUCKY CHARMS BOXERS and weighs in at 205 even! Rampage gets right in Jardine’s face, Jardine starts talking smack to him, Rampage gets nose to nose with the man, the two finally get separated. Rogan interviews Jardine. “We’re doing something right at Jackson’s but I don’t care about all of that. I just got to beat this man right here.” Rogan goes to interview Rampage next. “Ay, I’m puttin’ it all on the line. I’m puttin’ everythang on the line. You heard? I’ma do my thang baby, that’s for y’all Ohio. I’ma do my thang baby, I’ma put it down. I’ma get wild up in that cage tomorrow, that’s f’real!” That’s the weigh-ins.

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