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Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Wrestling – Episode 3

It’s been a month since I watched this show and it’s very low on my priority list. However, I do have some time this weekend and I want to see if I can catch up.

I don’t even remember where we left off, but I think Tiffany and the girl from Bewitched are gone.

And Willis is still wearing that hat.

Who taught Danny Bonaduce how to take a bump? I don’t remember bumping being a three step process.

Brutus needs to give Greg “The Hammer” Valentine a job. The Dream Team needs to make a comeback.

Hogan says he listened with his ears and heart when he wrestled.

He gives the remaining eight Jimmy Hart to help develop their character. Maybe he’ll teach them how to sing too.

Jimmy tells the girls that they’ll have to shake it but don’t break it in the ring. He says it’s all about showmanship. He tells them to pick out some gear.

Wait, the girl from Bewitched is still here. Ok, so Sly Stallone’s brother was the one who got kicked out. That’s right.

Jimmy’s disappointed in their choice of gear. Jimmy says Trishelle won’t be able to get a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken with what she chose for her outfit.

Bishoff is pissed off because he thinks the remaining eight aren’t taking it seriously. How does it feel being yelled at by a guy who helped run the largest wrestling company in the world out of business?

They are doing the tie up, working the arm, and running the ropes. Hey, the Beefer ran the ropes pretty well.

Hitting the ropes doesn’t look fun.

Hulk comes in and wants to see Dustin and Rodman work. For some reason, Rodman doesn’t move when Dustin tries to shoot him. He has stage fright. The guy who has had the most training out of them all got stage fright. Hulk got in and worked with Dustin. It was great.

Team Beefcake is working out. Butterbean puts Willis in a headlock and Hulk thought Butterbean was squeezing him too hard. Hulk works with Danny and Danny isn’t comfortable. Danny might be the worst bumper out of them all, and for some reason he runs the ropes with his arms at his side.

Erin is worried that her boobs are going to fall out of her costume. I think she’ll win if that happens. Nikki wants to get booed. Dennis says his goal is not to suck.

Nikki is “The Candy Girl” and she’s wearing what would amount to as bikini bottoms. Dustin is “The Winner”. They are facing Erin who is “The Mistress Of Mayhem” aka MOM. Um, Dennis’ character was already built for him like 10 years ago. He’s Rodzilla. At least he didn’t go with Rod The Bod.

I’m unsure how Nikki could be a heel with those trunks.

Bubba “The Love Sponge” (announcer) says that Dustin is doing a bad job at whipping Rodman into the ropes. And he’s picking on Erin Murphy because she’s not believable. Well, duh. Dustin has spit on Rodman twice now. Who is he, Randy Orton? Finally, Nikki gets in the ring. Erin is taking a beating outside while Rodman is caught up with the ref. Rodman finally gets the hot tag and then tags Murphy in for a high cross body off the top rope and the pin. I don’t remember them learning the high cross from the top.

It’s Team Beefcake time.

Willis is “Mr. Not So Perfect”. Butterbean is “Mean Bean”. They face Trishelle who is the “Red Hot Redneck” and Danny is “Dangerous Danny”. I wonder if Dan Spivey is upset. Butterbean is wearing the largest boxing trunks ever made.

Trishelle and Danny don’t make a bad team. She’s definitely the best of the girls. Butterbean is actually getting some good heat. Well, how can you not when you’re 500 pounds and you beat up a woman. Willis put his hat on Trishelle so that Butterbean could give her the standing booty grind into the abdomen. Willis is a great heel. Arnold should be their manager. Mr. Drummond could do a run in. Trishelle made the hot tag to Dangerous Dan and Willis offered a handshake but that jerk kicked him in the gut. Ok, Willis is my favorite worker. Trishelle pantsed Butterbean to show off some assless chaps and Dangerous Dan hit the high cross off the top for the win. Willis is the MVP. That was actually almost passable.

Team Beefcake is safe. It might be curtains for one of the girls. Bischoff says the timing was a bit off. Hulk says Dustin and Rodzilla are safe. Jimmy says Erin was adorable. He says that she got a little lost. Hulk says Nikki was right on point with her moves but she has to step her game up. I think Nikki’s short trunks saved her. Erin is a jabroni.

Next time it looks like Nikki pisses everyone off.

Photo of Danny Bonaduce shared via Wikicommons

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