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Random Wrestling Thoughts – So That’s Doug Williams . . .

Every week I will try look at Raw, ECW, TNA, and Smackdown and give my thoughts. These are just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen, just my thoughts.

Random wrestling thoughts for the week of July 7, 2008:

Raw

  • When Stephanie wants to, she can look very unattractive.
  • Who knew that Vickie Guerrero would be one of the best promos of 2008?
  • Whoever is writing John Cena’s promos has an excrement fetish.
  • There is some definite wackyness on Raw this week.
  • The Jericho and Michaels stuff works great because they use logic in their promos. It’s really the best stuff on any wrestling show.
  • Batista vs. Punk? Hmmm. Not sure about that one. And if it couldn’t get more odd, Kane freaks out to end the show.

ECW

  • I don’t get why Miz and Morrison get wasted being put with Hornswaggle. Then again, it’s not like there are any other tag teams.
  • Braden Walker looked like Festus with Jesse’s hair. Wellness, ladies and gentlemen, wellness.
  • Whenever I see Tony Atlas, I think of when he re-debuted as Saba Simba and Roddy Piper who was on commentary said, “That’s not Saba Simba, that’s Tony Atlas.”
  • I think Evan Bourne is exciting, but does every knee lift have to thrown like it’s the last knee lift he’ll ever throw?
  • I think the main reason I like Mark Henry so much as ECW Champion is because he might be the happiest guy to ever win the title. I’ve never seen a happier man.

TNA

  • So that’s Doug Williams and his exploding German Suplex. Give me more TNA, give me more.
  • Who didn’t know those exercise balls weren’t going to be tipped over? No gym I’ve ever seen stacks exercise balls anyway.
  • Jay Lethal must not punch very hard if Sonjay Dutt was able to smile, start a chant, and walk away.
  • I wonder if Triple H is a featured attraction by Kurt Angle’s description.
  • Kip James is now “The Mega Star”? Holy jeez.
  • I guess we have a female 123 Kid.
  • That power bomb off the top by Ultimo Guerrero was legit.
  • If Kurt Angle gets any skinner, he might be able to be on America’s Next Top Model.

Smackdown

  • How much of it was truth when Mick Foley said that Shelton Benjamin was frustrated because of his lack of upward mobility in WWE?
  • And I’m sorry, but Shelton needs to let his hair go back to black because he looks like a swoll Sisqo. Thong tha thong thong thong.
  • Why do I get excited when I see the new 90210 commercials?
  • Vladimir Kozlov is an interesting character, but the second one of the top guys get their hands on him, I fear that it will be curtains for the mambo, I mean Sambo champion.
  • That’s how you book The Big Show everyone.
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